From jennytork@hotmail.com Mon Aug 31 21:28 EDT 1998 Received: from garnet.acns.fsu.edu (gmhub.acns.fsu.edu [128.186.195.10]) by polaris.net (8.8.8/8.7.6) with ESMTP id VAA15207 for ; Mon, 31 Aug 1998 21:28:47 -0400 (EDT) Received: from hotmail.com (f199.hotmail.com [207.82.251.90]) by garnet.acns.fsu.edu (8.8.6/8.8.6) with SMTP id VAA61052 for ; Mon, 31 Aug 1998 21:28:46 -0400 Received: (qmail 11202 invoked by uid 65534); 1 Sep 1998 01:28:15 -0000 Received: from 208.253.200.150 by www.hotmail.com with HTTP; Mon, 31 Aug 1998 18:28:14 PDT Message-ID: <19980901012815.11201.qmail@hotmail.com> X-Originating-IP: [208.253.200.150] From: "Enola Jones" To: rose@garnet.acns.fsu.edu Subject: your story Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1998 18:28:14 PDT Content-Type: text/plain Content-Length: 774 Status: RO Kermit I FINALLY read your story. Overall, I like it! A lot! You do however, have a tendency to use twelve words where one would do. Joe's teasing banter to Helen is effective, but he needs to cut out the physical descriptions. That would be better done somewhere else. Other than that, I have three points. 1) prime factors of.... Helen immediately said "Two divides it four times." I'm no math major but with a number that large, two would divide it a lot more, wouldnt it? 2) We have had this discussion before, and I will not reiterate it. But I still do not like the 'ey'. 3) Your poetry is excellent. Thanks for letting me read this! Enola ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com